ordinary day

today doesnt feel like xmas.
the tree wasnt put up,no decorations & we're all too broke for gifts.
jus feels like an ordinary day.
i did get some news that made things a lil better,my gma is better,whereas before she was in this situation that had me stressed out.
so im really greatful for that.
& even tho im not doin anythin on this day, i am really greatful for the lil things i have.
and where im at.
i've been blessed with an amazing girlfriend,that seems to know how to make every situation better,idk how she does it..lol
i think she secretly has powers,she jus hasnt let me in on it.. :p
im glad everyone seems to be ok.
i wish i cud spend today with people i actually wanted to be surrounded by tho..
sux i wont be.
o well,i shall make the best of it.
im ouut

family

i wish i cud be wit them today,i remeber bein tired of always spendin time wit the fam,now its wut i want more than anythin...dont take these kinds of moments for granted..yu'll regret it.i do.

cold words

yu know the ones..
yea
no
ok
bye
sure
idc
blah blah..yu know the ones
yea,those kill..
even wen its me usin em.
can i shut it now..
ouuut

can't sleep

i feel like i've done sumthin wrong..
like wtf??..
i jus cant sleep & i feel upset,like i shud be mad..
which i guess im kinda feelin..
but iono..
guess jus yesterday wasnt the best of days for most people.
it wasnt all bad
i did get to spend time with my eldest brother,which was nice since i dont see him very much at all
& it was the first time i talked to him bout my girlfriend..
i was still nervous even tho,i know hes know for a long time
ive always jus called them "friends"...
but i jus dont like feelin like im ashamed of my girlfriend,cus im not.
it felt rly nice tho :)
i did go to sleep earlier today,which jus made me wake up late round 10..
then i went bak to sleep and had this horrible nightmare..
everywhere i went,to anyone i went to (was close friends & loved ones in my dream) whatever was followin me hurt them..
idk wut my dreams mean..
did that mean that im some sort of pain to those people..
iono..scared me alot tho & made me feel rly bad wen i woke up,which was round 1
its 4:50 now..
prolly wont get to sleep til bout an hr & im hungry..
but i shudnt eat now..
anyway.. thats my random thoughts for yaa..
im ouut

see..

she loves me :)

love,love,love my love. :)

i feel not enough people get to experience love.
true,unconditional,accepting of one another,honest,loyal love.
i feel blessed every single day,because there's no doubt in my mind i love this girl & i know she loves me.
i dont doubt her love,or her words,or that her intentions for us are only the best.
i remember "lovin" sumone and still thinkn,"wonder if me & ______ can work out"..or "i wonder who shes with right now.."
i remember bein afraid of believin sumone else's words..
then i meet tay and everythin changed. & idk how it all happened.
cus it happened fast,lol
it feels jus as great,im lyin...greater than before,seems like everyday is better than yesterday.
i feel i cant TRULY speak to my "friends" bout tay and i,cus theyre all in bad relationships..or none at all. and i dont wanna seem like im rubbin it in their faces..
how tay & i can make this work and it be as beautiful as it is. even with thousands of miles and an ocean between us.
i mean,it feels jus as normal as any other relationship.
im lyin again...its been better than "any other relationship"
i know so many people say theyve found "true love" but are constantly arguin..
and within their selves know, it isnt as great as they make it out to be.
i feel i cudnt even explain close to wut its like..guess its jus one of those thing yu gotta try and see for yurself,but with so many liars & unfaithful people,that can feel like an impossible task.
but trust me,its possible.
& i can personally tell yu distance wont hold yu back..
i believe love is the strongest power in this world.

do yu know yur worth?

not givin in...

i hate that feelin wen yu and yur partner are arguin and both of yu wanna be hard headed,so neither of yu say shit & neither of yu apologize.
like its some game,like yu jus have to win.
yu have to be the one who stays strongest.
the one who stands their ground,til the other gives in...
like wut the hell?!..
i mean...at the end of the day (hopefully) yu know itll be time jus waisted..
bein aggrivated..for wut reason?
there's usually never a "real" reason for the arguements or the silent treaments..
becuase either ill say "im say sorry ill never do it again"..or yu'll say "im sorry i jus make it a bigger deal than it is"..
but the whole time while yur not talkin yu feel this gut wrenchin feelin..knowin its jus not right.
yu love this person,so why wont yu jus make it right?

seems like even as much as yu love sumone,there has to be sum bad moments..
almost like havin that feelin of hurt means sumthin because it means the relationship is actually worth fightn over??..

idk or maybe i jus like pain in general..seems like i look for it everywhere..
like i jus cant help but be a jerk or aggrivating or annoying..i seem to always look for peoples buttons to push..
maybe i just test people?
maybe i jus wanna see where their limits are..
how far I CAN "push them"..
i do always remeber everythin..maybe i jus use those days as refrences..
so that i know wut not to do or say on days that rly matter..
on a day i really need to say sumthin,but im really not trynna fight or argue..
maybe its an easier way than another to figure out wut bothers sumone and wuts ok to them..

idk,i jus ramble alot,im jus hella random..
but i never know why i always seem to be "the bully",and yet im surrounded by people who love me..
*shrugs* idk...
im ouut

Testing this out from my phone...does it wrk??

how many people do you know

have yu ever sat and wonder how many people yu actually know.
like damn i was jus lookin at my fb page and even tho my friends list is only in the 100's every person on there i know.have personally seen them in person,had physical contact with or have gron sum kind of personal friendship with..
thats jus alot of people..like i mean if every person knwo jus even that 100..cud yu jus imagine how many people there really is in this world.like DAMMMMMNNN!
and i mean i obviously know more people than jus the ones on fb,cus not every damn person has one.
lets see imma jus start namin and countin people off..lol
nahhh,nevermind,lol
that shit will take forever,but yeah man..
think bout that shit,we know hundreds of people...that shit crazy,and we can remeber everyones names (for the most part) lol...
thats intense,anywho.im done with my randomness.
im ouuut.

my princess & i

OVERSEAS LOVER

i've been readin other people's blogs,and alot of them consist of their loved ones..
alott of the ones i read,are really cute too.
i havent really been on this much,just gettin used to gettin on and wut not..
but i havent really written bout my love.
which im kinda surprised by,myself,cus im forever thinkn of her and talkin bout her,and jus randomly bringn her up...(which im sure,drives sum people crazy..lol)
MY relationship is deff not any ordinary one,and it isnt an easy one either,but it's deff been sweet & all together a whole new experience.
my girlfriend Tay,we've been together (officially) jus a lil over a month. we started talkin back in march,as friends,we were just friends...
i mean we did do the whole flirty thing and wut not...but she lives in england and im here in fl..we were both aware of that.
i wasnt lookin to be with anyone thaaat far.. & i knew she deff wasnt tryin get into sumthin like that either,she had told me so.
it was fair. i mean really why wud yu wanna put yurself thru that.
Anywayyyy,every day we jus always talked...jus about everythin..and anythin..it was really coo,and really nice.i enjoyed talkin to her & i really loved it wen she wud call cus of her accent.
anytime we wud talk on the phone,first few months in conversations consisted of "whatt??" "what did yu say?" "can yu repeat that please,i cudnt understand what yu said"..lol
like seriously,it was so hard to understand wut she was sayin sum days..
but as the days went by and i heard her voice more often (have an unlimited international plan) i got used to the way she spoke,not entirely,cus still to this day ill ask her bout a million times to repeat sumthin and i know it drivees her insane,but i jus cant understand sum days,lol her accent is kinda thick.
so every day since the first day she called me in march,we've talked.there has not been one day i havent had contact with her.
even wen she went to greece (i think it was) she stilled called me,even wen that bill was goin to b super huge. & wen i went out to chicago i found ways to keep in contact with her (had no comp no phone wit me wen i was there)...
i remeber one of the things that really got to me in the first month of talkin to her was wen she told me she wud love to have her girlfriends baby...i jus thought that was so sexy..as the time progressed i found myself more and more attracted to her...it was goin further than jus bein attracted to her looks.i loved the way she thought and the way she felt about certain things (mind yu she had never been with a female before,not even kissed,crazy huh?!)..
we made plans for her to come here in nov,and she did. i can say that moment,of goin to pick her up at the airport was the best,i mean i had been talkin to this girl for 9months straight now and we werent datin...but we were consistent and i know how she felt bout me..so it was jus really amazing,jus to know this wasnt all jus sum time bein spent on sum internet fling or sum shit...
she was with me for a lil over a week,and it was the best ever,i was her first kiss (which was the cutest,lol..she was so nervous! n_n) and well her first girl to mess with. (which was amazinng ;])
few days after she was gone i bought my tickets to england.which were pricey,but not too bad...lol
so im goin out there for my bday in feb,ill be there jus a lil over a week as well,the 5-15.(spenidn vday with her)
but yeah man i jus gave yu like our life story lmao..so damn long and i didnt mean to make it this long...but hey..i said i do talk bout her alot..lol
we're a really strong couple,i know this.
shes more than amazing,more than i ever imagined having...i love it all.
im really excited bout my trip and im sure ill post lots and lots of pix :D
anywho,i think ive written way too much,for sumones taste in readin..lol
im oooout!

CHEEEEEESE got my two fav things in the pic as well n i didnt even notice.my phone and ipod. o! babe yur in there too,look! lmao

c'mon son!

iight man,today i had some fuckin issues with the bank..
theyve been fuckin up my account since i added some overdraft protection..
it seems like there asses have been purposely overdraftin me or sum shit,cus i aint evveeer had a problem wit money.
man fuck that shit...C'MON SON WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT BULL SHIT! C'MON SON...
had my ass bout to murber sumone..
ugh..
i dont even have money for any xmas presents this year..
so shameful :(
even tho i dont like xmas all that much,i stil like gettin other people things.
and especially now..
wud be nice to give my loved ones a lil sumthin..
c'mon son wut the fuck is up wit the money!..c'mon son..haha
maan i heard this phrase jus yesterday,watched the youtube vids,and now im hooked..
its great!
anywho..
that whole bank fuckin wit my money shit..i aint havin it.farill.
make me wanna pull all my money out and jus stash it elsewhere.
fuck the bullshit.i work too damn hard for these damn ass wipes to be trynna put my ass is overdraft..
anywho,jus wanted to throw this out there..lol
FUCK BANKSSSS!!!!!! AHHHH!! lol iight im ouuut.

inspired

ok,ok,ok.

let's see here.

im daly & i've jus been inspired to start my own blogspot!

i havent ran into too many people who r serious about their writing...

WUT THEEE

drives me crazy,cus sum days all i wanna do is read sumone else's thoughts.

i mean come on,do yu not get tired of hearin yur ownself all the time!?

i sure fuckin do. i like in put..i like opinions,i love thoughts,of others,yu know?

right now,all this is,is prolly randomness,yu know..until i get sum amazing topic that comes to me while im at work...so then i jot it down on my lil "note pad" (ipod touch ) & then ill write bout it in future bloggin..

hmmm,im really hungry right now. and i cant really think properly wen my stomach feels like its trynna jus eat itself!...

so for now this is it.

im daly.im 19 & i like girls. :)

ciao.